Let's try this (Day One)

By far my biggest struggle, in terms of addictive behavior, is my battle with food as a source of comfort, congratulation, consolation and companionship. In 1991 I signed-up for the NutriSystem program. This was back when you visited a center on a weekly basis, got some coaching, went to support groups and ate only their food. I lost 65 pounds from June to October that year. I looked great, felt great and was very happy about my physical appearance. Over the next few years I (you know what's coming) gained it all back plus a little more. Now, fifteen years later, I'm trying to lose 80 pounds but I'm doing it on my own. Not successfully. I'm working to establish a regular workout routine with a goal of getting up early and doing some weight training and aerobics six days a week. Five days one week is the best I've accomplished over the last four weeks. It's like I have this embedded roadblock when it comes to succeeding in this area. Last night I talked about it again in my support group. The men in my group all want me to succeed, but they aren't going to do this for me. After the group I came home and promptly popped a big bowl of popcorn, added lots of butter and salt and ate almost the whole thing. It was 8:30 at night. It's 5:30 in the morning now and I awoke this morning with a plan...another one.

Let's try this. I'm going to post on this blog every day. What I'm going to post is my food journal, a list of every single thing I eat. I'm also going to post an exercise journal. If I don't post one day it means either I didn't eat properly or I didn't get up and workout that day. Sunday is my off day as a weekly break is important to keeping up with this routine. I'm going to post it here to give anyone who reads this a chance to encourage me and hold me accountable. This is one area I've consistently struggled with and that's keeping me from truly recovering life. One reason for this blog is to help me in my recovery. Let's see how it really works as a tool to keep me honest in this, my biggest challenge. If you read this and want to be part of my support team (that just means commenting when you have something to say) I'd appreciate it if you'd post a comment here. Thanks! Here goes day one...