Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Long Time Gone

Can't believe it's been since August of 2009 since I posted here. Perhaps that's a reflection of my own recovery journey. Fall of 2009 and throughout 2010 I've been going through a new cycle of intense recovery focus. It happens.

Recovery is a lifelong process and one that has periods of rest, periods of restlessness and periods of growth...painful growth. I entered recovery over six years ago expecting to get 'fixed' and move on with my life. Come to find out getting 'fixed' is a lifelong pursuit. Probably should've known that. As a Christian we call that sanctification. The process we walk through all the years on this earth being refined and molded by God.

Have you ever seen something get molded? Usually a substance that is without any shape or form gets forced into a mold. It gets squeezed, pushed, pressured and, sometimes, heated. Out the other end of this process something with clear definition, shape, purpose and usefulness comes out. A good definition for recovery, I think.

We go in a blobby mess having lived lives of no accountability, no boundaries, and no common sense. When we work the program, go through the 12 steps, engage with a sponsor, establish disciplines and work tirelessly to surrender our lives and our wills to a power great than ourselves something miraculous happens. We take shape. We become identifiable as people. Our wayward years are redeemed and become useful for helping others. We enter into meaningful, sustained relationships with other healthy people and we become beacons of hope for those who follow behind us.

This side of heaven none of us will ever be perfect. Lord knows I'm certainly not and don't expect to be. I seek progress not perfection and I thank God for the progress he's made in my life these last many months. It would be nice to have a period of rest, but I think there's more work to be done in the short term. I'm ready. Are you?