I'm angry! Yet another family is being torn apart by the selfish, self-destructive, bitter behavior of a raging addict. It amazes me every time I hear about people who would rather lose their family, job, friends, health...even their life...rather than confront the truth of their addiction.
In recovery we say that addiction is cunning, baffling and powerful. I know that to be true. Yet, I still have a hard time finding any sympathy for someone who simply won't surrender and admit they are powerless over their addiction. Addiction is, at its core, self-protection writ large. Whatever the cause, at some point in your life you needed to protect yourself. Maybe physically but most certainly emotionally. That impulse for self-protection is the first seed sown toward full-blown addiction.
For a narcissist the entire world revolves around them. Every celebration is for them and every problem is about them. Every life event is one more chance to hog the spotlight. I spent many years thinking every eye in every room was trained on me. That every meeting was successful because I took charge. That every event was the best because I was the leader.
Then I got into recovery and had to admit that it's not about me. All I was doing was protecting myself from reality. My addictive behaviors were keeping me from healthy relationships, a healthy lifestyle and the thing I wanted most, genuine love and connection to other people.
You can keep on controlling your life with self-centered, narcissistic behavior. You can manipulate your situations so as to never let anyone close enough to hurt you. You can go on thinking that your way is best right up 'til the moment you die friendless and alone. Or you can get serious about recovery. You can seek out one of the programs that are linked to this page and begin the process with step 1.
Admit that you are powerless and that your life has become unmanageable.
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