Friday, February 22, 2008

Sponsorship

Having a sponsor is so important. Having a good sponsor can be really hard. I've had a couple of sponsors in my years in recovery. I lost my first sponsor when I moved away. My sponsor now is having some health concerns and has left the area to seek treatment. I don't like the process of finding a sponsor. It requires taking risks, sharing my stuff one more time and getting to know the person. I, personally, find that difficult. In my experience many addicts struggle with interpersonal relationships because addiction is so self-focused. Having a sponsor is a very important interpersonal relationship...and a challenging one. It's no wonder that people in recovery have a hard time finding and keeping a sponsor.

That being said, I must admit that I've recently become a sponsor myself. It's a new thing for me and I'm not sure I'm doing it very well just yet. We meet weekly and the conversations are getting better, in my opinion. I want to be a good sponsor. I want to challenge my sponsee to be honest in his recovery. In some ways I'm trying to be the sponsor I'd like but haven't really had yet.

The point of this post...if there is one...is to admit that sponsorship is a challenge on both sides of it. But I guess that most of the things that make recovery truly useful are difficult. Attending meetings, working the twelve steps, having a sponsor, being a sponsor, all these would be easier not to do. Recovery is easier not to do until you hit bottom and realize that your life has become unmanageable. Then recovery becomes necessary to survival. Then you can do the hard things that recovery requires...all the hard things.

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