My wife and I were talking about the Michael Jackson memorial service today. She said she'd heard he went through all those surgeries, in part, so that he would never look like his dad. The pain inflicted by Joe Jackson on his sons is the stuff of legend. She also noted that I'm no stranger to father issues.
True enough. My father was an alcoholic who died at 57 and my stepfather was worse because he pretended to be a good man while womanizing and abusing myself and my siblings. He died alone at 60, no Staples Center celebration of his life! In my experience of recovery I can say I've yet to meet a man who doesn't have some trauma inflicted by his father. Alcoholic fathers, physically abusive fathers, emotionally distant fathers, fathers who left altogether.
The influence of a father in our lives is immeasurable. Both for good and for evil. If you're struggling with addiction or have a hard time in relationships or have generally low self-esteem I'll hazard a guess you've got father issues. Trust me when I tell you that they don't go away on their own. The things you're doing right now to cope with the pain inflicted by your father could be killing you. Unless you submit to recovery and start choosing a healthy path, you'll most likely never get truly healed of the wounds inflicted in childhood.
Now, if you've got the money and the influence you could just remake yourself the way Michael Jackson did. But it doesn't seem that plan worked out so well for him after all. You might consider different choices!
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